Betti. Music. Twilight.: Twi-Fic I love: Clipped Wings & Inked Armor by Hunterhunting

Betti. Music. Twilight.: Twi-Fic I love: Clipped Wings & Inked Armor by Hunterhunting

Beautiful

Light thinks it travels faster then anything but its wrong....no matter how fast light travels...it finds that darkness has always gotten there first and is waiting for it

Insomnia

I can not sleep';I have bouts of sleep thru out the night,,,maybe getting 2 hours .I try going to bed early...no luck..going to bed late...no luck there either.Why can I not sleep?Theres no big problem I am dealing with...nothing I am worring about.My mind wanders...it does'nt settle on just one thing.I can't read because reading does'nt make me tired...If I were to  read a new book I  wonder what happens next.I 've tried reading books I've already read,thinking I would be bored and therefore become sleepy.Doesn't help because I don't mind reading books I've already read.May be I missed something the first time.My doctor gave me a prescription for a sleeping pill.That works for a while sometimes...but most times it does'nt.Maybe I should take two but I don't think thats a good idea.I watch the damn clock...Hour after sleepless hour.I just want to sleep.

William Shakespeare/From Julius Caesar

There is a tide in the affairs of men;Which,taken at the flood,leads onto fortune;Omitted,all the voyage of thier miseries:And we must take the current when it serves, Or lose our ventures.

A little something

To get something you never had;you have to do something you never did

John Keats

A thing of beauty is a joy forever.....Its loveliness increases;it will never...Pass into nothingness;but still will keep...A bower quiet for us,and a sleep...Full of sweet dreams,and health,and quiet breathing

Ode to camping LOL

Ok we go to ..a camping...tra la la la.Upon arriving we our greeted by quite a few drunk peeps...and a few drunk stoners.So I decide to the hell in w/ them ,blow off some steam(because I do not know anything about the kidney thing...I decided to forget it just one night)I had a blast,,,Felt guilty about whinning that I didn't want to go.But the guilt waned after the second or fourth beer or was it sisth beer not sure lol,,,great time had by all.

Camp

We going to camp today,,,oh joy,joy ,joy...I am kinda depressed and would like forgo this trip but can'nt see how to get out of it oh well..not in the mood to sleep in a damn tent wah wah wah,,,bitch bitch,,,,shut up Emmy

Excerpt from "Thier Eyes Were Watching God"...by Nora Neale Hurston

Ships at distance have every man's wish on board.For some they come in with the tide.For others they sail on forever on the horizon,never out of sight,never landing until the Watcher turns his eyes away in resignation,his dreams mocked to death by Time.That is the life of men.....Now,women forget all those things they don't want to remember,and remember everything they don't want to forget.The dream is the truth.They act and do things accordingly.

Ryan is HOME!!!

My son,Ryan,Is home after living in Chicago for a few years.He is a recovering herion addict.He rode the horse as he would say for 8 years.When he lived here before moving to Chicago...we went throught some vert harrowing experiences.He was not a user that nodded off...no...quite the opposite.He rearranged things...he spit alot...he paced...and threaten to kill himself and take me along with him.He damaged everyone who loved him...but mostly he damaged himself.He has been in more rehabs,,,halfway houses...three quarter houses than I can count on both hands.He lied..stoled...anything to get his hands on his dope.He has been homeless.He has been nothing and everything.We love him....and THANK GOD he has been clean for almost a year...thats why he is home.He is 27 and he says realizes how much time hes wasted being a drug addict...that he could have done something different...but he also says it not to late to get started now...on his new life.He is almost like the boy...now man...that he use to be...only now he has scars inside and out.I don't let myself think about the places he has been or the things he has seen.If he wants to talk I will listen and not condemn him .He did'nt want to come home till he had a year in recovery.He tells us he is sorry...we tell him the past is the past ..we can and will move on now.I love him so very much.RYAN IS HOME

Just a little something that caught my eye

When we walk to the edge of all the light we have and take that step into the darkness of the unknown,we must believe that one of two things will happen*there will be something solid for us to land on....or...*God will teach us how to fly....Patrick Overton.

Scared

Recently went to my doctor and after relating to him how I was feeling he order a sonagram on my stomach.While not finding anything concerning my tummy,it did find a mass on my right kidney.The sonagram lead to a mri and that detected 2 masses on my kidney.My doctor calls me and tells me could be this or that or the c word...u know cancer.I AM SCARED.He said mri every 3 months...but I want a biopsy done...I WANT TO KNOW NOW!Perhaps it is one of the other things he mentioned but truthfully I do not remember...I lost my train of thought after he sais cancer.I see him on the eighth(September)I am staying upbeat till i know...my kids are a little nuts about it so I gotta stay strong for them.But I have to say in side I am going a little nuts.I keep imaging not seeing them again....of no kisses from my grandkids...my husband.I don't care about if it comes to it losing my hair or whatever.I just do not want them to see me sick...I am a strong person....but I am writing this to get it out....somewhere is here...I am not making sense now...